What factors do you need for a happy marriage? You might assume humor, attractiveness, or even wealth might top the list, but shocking research says that the top 2 most important qualities for a long-lasting marriage have nothing to do with sex appeal and financial freedom.
So what makes for connubial bliss?
Researchers have found that conscientiousness and self-control are the most important factors needed for a happy marriage. Yep, good old-fashioned self-discipline and commitment to one’s promises is what keeps love alive.
Although it may not sound super sexy, self-control is important for a host of reasons.
Not only is a partner with higher self-control going to be able to resist temptation and stay faithful better than a person with lower self-control, but they are also going to be motivated, hard-working partners across the board.
They will be less likely to sleep till noon and leave the house a mess, and less likely to skip the gym in favor of happy hour after work. A partner with self-control is going to be a disciplined, thoughtful mate, someone who will bring out the best in themselves as well as their spouse.
In that same vein, conscientiousness is also important. While conscientiousness might not sound like an alluring quality, it can actually be an important building block for a long-lasting marriage.
Why? Because a conscientious partner will keep their promises. They will be on time for date night. They won’t overspend or make rash decisions that will negatively impact your future as a couple.
So, while spontaneity can be attractive, it feels best when it occurs in a stable relationship and with certain boundaries in place, so that you can feel safe letting go and being free. That is why conscientiousness can play such an important role in our marriages.
The good news is that these qualities can be built and enhanced over time. As we grow in our relationships, we can set an intention to really focus on these soulful skills of keeping promises, practicing self-care, and giving our best efforts to our partner. At the end of the day, those skills will do more for our intimacy and our relationship than six-pack abs or any amount of sexy lingerie.