If I asked you to sit down and tell me about your relationship, what would you tell me? Would you tell me about how you are too busy to have sex? Sex is lackluster at best? Did you ever think how those thoughts may be the reason you’re stuck in your sexual rut. I hear from a lot of my clients that they just don’t feel engaged and have a hard time switching gears from soccer mom to sexy wife or are ust too tired at the end of a long day to turn on their inner sex kitten. But the truth is, it’s easier than you think to wake up your sexual desires and get yourself in the mood not matter how busy you are or what time of day it is
Sex is an energy exchange. And as I always say .. where energy goes, energy flows. So it’s important to change how YOU think about sex in order to change your energy surrounding it. In my book, Quantum Love, I talk about quantum sex which is about learning to use your body’s energy, your physical sensations, your atomic energy, and your conscious awareness to enhance your own physical experience and consciously play with and expand your awareness of the energy exchange with your partner. Here are simple but important techniques to get your mind and body ‘in the mood’ and your sexual energy flowing:
Set an intention for how you want to FEEL in your life, your love life and your relationship. Make a list of 5 core desired feelings that you want to experience as your reality, rather than just a list of complaints or lofty goals. For example, rather than “I want my partner to be more romantic” or “I want to be a better partner,” I want you to list the feelings that come to mind when you imagine your perfect relationship and love life. For example: Playful. Spiritual. Sparkling. Glowing. Powerful. Wanted. Fearless. Open. Certain. Grateful. Unbreakable.
Now look at that list of core desired feelings you wrote down because it’s time to start manifesting it! Let’s say one of my core desired feelings is to have a more playful relationship with my spouse; to have more spontaneous and silly connection with him rather than stressful conversations about bills and errands. How would I start to manifest such a goal?
First, I would get into the physical experience of my core desired feeling. How would it feel in my body to have a more playful relationship with my spouse? The best way to do this is by visualizing a scenario when I felt extremely playful with him. When was there a time when I felt a playful bond with him? Maybe I could hearken back to when we first started dating and he took me to the zoo and we had our faces painted. Maybe I would remember the snowball fight we had during our first holiday season together. Or I can even make up a scenario in my mind…or remember a time I was being playful with friends or my kids. The point is to feel the feeling state that you want to be in fully so that you can use that physical feeling as a reference point to put yourself back into that feeling state at will.
Ask yourself: Why do I love? Why am I lovable?
Make a list of all the reasons why you fell in love with your partner. It can be a single word (funny) or it can be a story, such as the time your partner rescued you when your car broke down. You will add to this list every day, even if some days you have to repeat a word you already used.
If single, begin making a list of all the reasons YOU are worthy of love. Don’t be shy! It could be as simple as “Because I am kind” or it could be a more elaborate story that illuminates your generosity and spirit. You will add to this list everyday, so keep the notebook handy.
One easy way to get present is to start checking in with physical sensations. You can do this anywhere…even between zooms on a busy day at work. Ask yourself: How does your body feel right now? Does your back ache? Are you hunched over? Do you feel hungry or maybe a little tired? Okay, now what do you hear around you? Is music playing or can you hear traffic outside? And what do you smell? Coffee, perfume or dinner cooking on the stove? It might sound funny, but getting connected with your physical present reality through all 5 senses allows you to be fully in your body. And the more you are fully in your body, and fully in your senses, the more you can let go of inhibitions, experience delicious sensations, and arouse yourself and your partner to the fullest.
Doing all three of these things will help automatically raise your own vibration and you will begin noticing a shift in how you feel about yourself, your partner and your relationship. To learn more about raising your vibrations and frequency, read my ebook You’re Not Crazy, You’re Just Ascending.
Most importantly: Listen to my latest podcast. In this week’s episode of “The Language of Love Conversation”.