Have you ever enjoyed sex that was so good it felt like a spiritual experience? Have you ever felt so connected and at one with your partner that your sexual activity actually felt…sacred, holy, and even transcendental?
If you are like most people, the idea of sexuality and spirituality being connected is strange and even offensive. In the Western world tend to view sex as ‘naughty’ or ‘dirty,’ something that we shouldn’t talk about and certainly that not an activity that can be spiritual.
However, I beg to differ. I believe that sex can actually be incredibly spiritual. Sex can be an act of powerful connection—it can help us to become wholly present in our bodies and in our physical sensations, in turn allowing us to be completely here, completely whole, and completely vulnerable.
In fact, a new study has found that sex and spirituality might be more closely connected than we previously realized. The researchers found that men who were given a dose of oxytocin (the ‘love hormone’) were more likely to report a greater sense of spirituality as well as transcendental experiences than men who were given placebos.
Oxytocin is released by the body during sex, as well as during other activities like breastfeeding. It makes us feel bonded and relaxed—sometimes it is even called the ‘cuddle’ hormone because it makes us want to snuggle up and love each other. It’s a crucial part of our body’s chemical makeup because it drives us to be close to one another, to nurture each other, and to care for one another—all key elements for our survival, especially in the early days of mankind.
But, I wonder if oxytocin might even have a more important role. Maybe, as this study shows, it is also here to help us connect to the spiritual world. Maybe oxytocin can help us to open the door that separates us from all that we truly desire—the internal world of endless possibility, love, and creativity.
Indeed, even men who said that they were not spiritual reported feeling the feel-good effects of oxytocin following the study. Yes, even the atheists reported feeling the spirit-enhancing properties of oxytocin.
This doesn’t mean that you have to believe in God in order to enjoy the maximum benefits of oxytocin or connective sex. Your definition of God could simply be love—love for mankind, love for yourself, love for your partner. Maybe you are Hindu, Jewish, or Wiccan. It doesn’t matter. You can still reap the benefits of your body’s awe-inspiring abilities.
Consider these tips:
- Meditate every day. I know I say this a lot, but that is because it is SO important. You must spend time everyday connecting to your true self in order to wipe away the cobwebs of stress, expectations, and false ideas that can cloud our minds. When you mediate, you can truly connect with who you really are, not who the world thinks you are or who you think the world wants you to be. Check out my open-hearted meditation to get started.
- Bring sacredness into the bedroom. Find ways to make your lovemaking more spiritual. This could mean meditating together before sex or it could mean reading sacred texts like the Kama Sutra. You can even experiment with things like body paint or you can decorate your bedroom with elements of earth, wind, water, and fire in order to bring the power of nature into your sacred space.
- Invite your whole self into the bedroom. We often think that sex and spirituality are separate entities, but in fact, the best sex is sex in which can we bring our whole, vulnerable, loving selves. By definition, that includes our spirts. People think that they have to turn off their ‘higher’ mind in order to enjoy sex, especially kinky or ‘dirty’ sex, but this is just is not true. In fact, if you can turn on that side of your mind and be present wholly in the act, your orgasms will go through the roof. And, you will enjoy improved mood and clarity afterwards as well, instead of feeling ashamed.
So, tell me, how do you make your love-making spiritual?