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When You’re Lonely in a “Good” Relationship

What happens when your partner is kind, loyal, and on paper seems like everything you should want, yet deep down, you feel unseen? In this Language of Love session, I connect with Elena, a listener who reached out because she feels exhausted in her relationship. She is the one holding everything together, remembering birthdays, checking …

When You’re Lonely in a “Good” Relationship
Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

When You’re Lonely in a “Good” Relationship

0:00 / 9:30

What happens when your partner is kind, loyal, and on paper seems like everything you should want, yet deep down, you feel unseen?

In this Language of Love session, I connect with Elena, a listener who reached out because she feels exhausted in her relationship. She is the one holding everything together, remembering birthdays, checking in emotionally, making plans, and keeping the balance steady. She does not want to villainize her partner, but she is tired of feeling loved for what she does instead of who she is.

In this session, I help Elena unpack why this dynamic is so common in long-term relationships and how it often is not about a lack of love, but a disconnect in how love is expressed and received. We explore how love languages shape our expectations, why resentment can quietly build over time, and how to ask for emotional support without turning the conversation into an argument about chores or who does more.

In this session, I dive into:

Why feeling unseen can slowly erode intimacy

Why this dynamic often emerges over time, especially after major life changes like having children.

How love languages influence what makes us feel cherished

Why loving your partner the way you want to be loved can miss the mark

How to clearly articulate your needs and desires

Practical ways to ask for support, romance, and appreciation in ways that actually land

When it might be time to consider short-term couples therapy to reset your relationship’s trajectory positively.

If Elena’s story resonates, if you feel like the emotional anchor in your relationship or long to feel more deeply known, I want to hear from you. Your story could help someone else feel less alone.

You can email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com to share your question for a future episode. For additional support, I encourage you to explore other helpful resources, including The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which offers insight into how we give and receive love differently. You can also visit my website, where you will find expert-approved resources and my free Quantum Sex course designed to help you deepen connection with your body, your partner, and your pleasure.
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