On this episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman talks about what men and women really want in the bedroom. Do men and women really have such vastly different needs and desires in the bedroom? Is it true that men have much higher libidos than women, or that women can’t have sex without getting emotionally attached?

Dr. Berman gets real about these intimacy questions and more, first explaining what truly makes a person desirable in the bedroom. And believe it or not, it has nothing to do with how big your breasts are or how long you can last during sex.

“Think back to the best sex you’ve ever had,” says Dr. Berman. “The sex that made you feel the most turned on, desired, and powerfully connected to your partner. What made that sex so amazing? It probably had nothing to do with your partner’s penis size or whether or not they had a 6-pack or double D cups. It was probably about the emotional connection and the excitement you felt at being seen and loved and treasured for exactly who you are, and being able to give that same unconditional love back to your partner in return.”

So knowing that passionate sex is more than skin deep, how can you apply this wisdom to your sex life right now to make yourself an even better sex partner?

“Don’t assume that your partner wants what you want,” says Dr. Berman. “Be willing to stay open and curious about what things might make your partner feel desired and turned on. Ask questions. Pay attention. Don’t make it all about your assumptions or what your past partners might have liked. And, even if you have been with your partner for a long time, their tastes or desires might have changed. Sex needs to be ongoing conversation we are having if we want to ensure that both partners are getting their needs met.”

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can become a better partner in the bedroom.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices