A low sex drive might seem like a minor issue, but the truth is that it can derail a woman’s mood, her relationship, and her sexuality. Millions of women suffer from low sex drive, but it can be hard to know how to treat the condition or how serious the issue might be.
While there is no ‘one size fits all’ test that can help determine if you have low desire, you might suffer from the issue if you find that your low libido is negatively taking a toll on your sex life and your relationship.
If you ideally want to have more sex but just can’t rack up the energy or the desire to make it happen, it could be because physical and emotional factors are literally sapping your desire and killing your libido. The good news is that low libido isn’t your ‘fault’ and there are many things you can do to help treat the issue and reclaim your sexuality once again.
How can I tell if I have low desire?
Dwindling desire is not necessarily a red flag if it happens only occasionally. For example, the menstrual cycle can greatly impact a woman’s level of desire. Many women find that their desire goes into overdrive ‘mid-cycle’ (around 14 days before they expect their next period). From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense because this is also when women are most fertile, so that added libido boost might be nature’s ways of encouraging women to enjoy sex.
However, the flip side of that is there are times during your cycle when you might feel less sexually charged and desirous. Stress at work and lack of sleep can also impact your desire, as can not taking care of yourself, such as by indulging in too much wine or skipping the gym. Your diet can also cause dips in your desire—refined carbs and processed fare can derail more than your waist line, they can also wreak havoc on your insulin levels and cause you to feel lethargic and out of sorts.
Safeguarding your relationship
Sometimes low libido isn’t only due to physical factors. It can also be caused by stress within the relationship or by a lack of connection with your partner. If you aren’t getting what you need outside the bedroom from your partner, it can be very hard to open up to him and get what you need inside the bedroom. This is especially true if you are always frazzled and in ‘Mommy’ mode—it’s hard to shut that down and turn into a sex vixen in a blink of an eye just because the kids are in bed.
If you suspect that your low libido could be due to unhealthy lifestyle choices, then making small tweaks can help you to address to these issues. However, if you still have low desire, it’s important that you talk to your doctor. She can do a full hormone panel in order to make sure that your hormones aren’t of whack, and she can also help to troubleshoot other possible culprits with you.
For example, maybe your medication causes sexual side effects, or maybe your hormonal birth control is sapping your desire (ironically, the pill has been linked to low desire in many women). The reality is that low libido can be caused by so factors, whether it’s anti-depressants or menopause, and until you know the real culprit, you can’t treat the issue.