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Beware the Ex: Study Says Women Suffer After Reconnecting with Past Partners

Rumors suggest that Kim and Kanye may be trying to salvage their relationship after a painful and public separation. Meanwhile, sister Khole and her ex Tristan Thompson are giving their on-again, off-again relationship another go, while celeb couples like Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk and Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik are also rumored to be giving love a second shot. 

But is hooking back up with your ex a good idea? Not always…especially if couples aren’t on the same page about where they want the relationship to go. 

A new study published in Evolutionary Psychology found that people often very different reasons for why they reconnect with an ex, and these reasons often differ based on gender.

The study highlights the fact that men and women tend to reconnect with their ex-partners for different reasons, and many times, their motivations are at odds and will only lead to more pain and heartbreak especially for female partners. 

Researchers found that women return to an ex after a breakup it’s because they want to resurrect the relationship and maintain that intimacy. They see it as a potential way to move forward and heal the bond.

But men don’t necessarily view post-breakup hookups in the same light. The research shows that men who have post-breakup sex say that they’re doing it just for the sake of pleasure and to meet their own needs, not because they’re trying to return to the relationship.

The research shows that women often feel worse about themselves after hooking up with an ex.

What is interesting is that these women say they personally feel worse after reconnecting with an ex, but they report feeling better about the relationship with their ex.

In other words, it’s almost as though they are willing to harm themselves and engage in self-destructive behavior if it can make them feel more secure and valued in the relationship.

While this isn’t always the case, it’s a good reminder that ex-couples need to make sure they are on the same page before reconnecting. 

Intimacy means different things to different people, and you might think that hooking up with an ex will get you back on track as a couple, but chances are that he might not feel the same.

Wherever possible, I really urge people to make a clean break with their ex’es, at least while the wound is still fresh and you’re trying to stay strong and move on. That means deleting them on social media and blocking their number so you can’t dial them up after too many drinks. It’s tempting to reach out to the familiar, especially during these difficult times, but doing so will only prevent your growth and ability to find love in the future.

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