What if some of the things you’ve spent your whole life beating yourself up about, like being disorganized, procrastinating, forgetting things, or feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks, were actually signs of ADHD?

For so many women, ADHD goes unrecognized for years, sometimes decades. They grow up thinking they’re lazy, scattered, too sensitive, or just need to try harder. And because ADHD doesn’t always look the way we’ve been taught to recognize it, especially in girls and women, many don’t get answers until well into adulthood.

And then there’s perimenopause, when hormonal changes can make symptoms that were once manageable suddenly feel impossible to ignore.

On this episode of The Language of Love, I’m joined by Dr. Jolene Brighten, a naturopathic doctor, clinical sexologist, and women’s health expert. She’s the bestselling author of Beyond the Pill and Is This Normal?, and her new book, ADHD and Women: A Guide to Optimizing Your Hormones and Thriving with ADHD, explores the fascinating relationship between ADHD, hormones, and women’s health.

We talk about why ADHD is so often missed in women, how it can be mistaken for anxiety, and the ways girls learn to compensate for or hide their struggles from an early age. We also get into the role of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone in brain function, and why perimenopause can be especially challenging for women with ADHD.

But this conversation goes well beyond understanding the diagnosis. Jolene shares practical ways to support your brain, from nutrition and sleep to navigating medication and hormone therapy, along with some really helpful advice about finding a healthcare provider who understands how ADHD shows up in women.

And we talk about something I think is incredibly important: how much shame women carry when they’ve spent years struggling with things that seem to come so easily to everyone else. Understanding how your brain works can be a tremendous relief, especially when it helps you stop judging yourself and start getting the support you actually need.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why ADHD is so often overlooked or misdiagnosed in girls and women

• The symptoms of ADHD you might never have thought to connect to it

• How anxiety and ADHD overlap, and how to tell the difference

• Why so many girls learn to mask their ADHD and the toll it can take

• The connection between ADHD, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone

• Why perimenopause can bring previously unrecognized ADHD symptoms to the surface

• How hormonal fluctuations may affect ADHD medications

• What Jolene calls “ADHD light” and why other conditions can mimic ADHD

• How to prepare for an ADHD evaluation and find a provider who understands women

• The importance of sleep and nutrition for supporting your brain

• Jolene’s easy “chill girl meals” and the breakfast food that helped my own memory and focus

• What women should know about hormone therapy and ADHD

Whether you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, suspect you might have it, or are simply wondering why your brain seems to be working differently as you get older, I think you’ll find this conversation both fascinating and reassuring.

Because there’s something incredibly freeing about finally understanding yourself, especially if you’ve spent years wondering why certain things have always felt so hard.

To learn more about Dr. Brighten and her work, visit her website and pick up a copy of ADHD and Women: A Guide to Optimizing Your Hormones and Thriving with ADHD. You can also find her podcast and her ADHD hormone profile quiz for women.

If something in this conversation sparked something in you, don’t stop here. My website offers more content, tools, and upcoming events to keep the conversation alive.

And if a reflection comes up, or you simply want to reach out, I’d love to hear from you. Find me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever wondered if they’ve been blaming themselves for something that was never their fault and discovered the answer is yes.

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