What if the day that broke you… could also be the day that brings you back to life?

Most of us think grief is something we move through, step by step, until we’re “on the other side.”

But what if that’s not true?

In this deeply moving episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with pastor, storyteller, and grief advocate John Onwuchekwa to explore a different truth. One that might completely reframe the way you understand loss.

Because according to John, tragedy doesn’t ruin us.

Hopelessness does.

On April 14, 2015, John’s life split into a before and after when his younger brother Sam died suddenly. What followed wasn’t a neat “healing journey.” It was the unraveling of everything he thought he knew about faith, control, and what it means to survive loss.

And then, two years later, on that exact same date… something unexpected happened.

A moment John calls a “small wink.”

A moment that didn’t erase his grief, but changed the way he carried it.

This conversation is about what it really looks like to live with grief, not past it.

It’s about questioning the stories we’ve been told, finding language for the unspeakable, and discovering how hope can exist without forcing meaning too soon.

If you’ve ever wondered:Am I grieving the “right” way?Why does this still hurt so much?Will I ever feel like myself again?

This episode will meet you exactly where you are.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why the idea of “grief as a journey” can quietly harm more than it helps
• The subtle ways we’ve been taught to perform our grief
• How storytelling becomes a lifeline in the aftermath of loss
• What it means to live “another life” after everything changes
• Why grief doesn’t expire… and what that actually means
• The difference between numbness that protects and numbness that traps
• How loss can dismantle faith and rebuild it into something more honest
• Why doubt might be the very thing that deepens your connection to the divine
• What it means to speak grief fluently, with just a hint of hope
• Why patience is the most underrated (and essential) grief practice
• How to truly show up for someone at rock bottom

If this conversation resonates with you, check out John’s book We Go On for more insights. You can also explore more of his work at johno.co and connect with him on LinkedIn. His nonprofit, We Go On Studio, hosts gatherings in cities around the world for people learning how to live with both grief and hope.

As always, I’d love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. And if you’re looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective is there for you.

None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let’s cry out loud together.