Keeping your love life intact as parents isn’t always easy. It’s hard to find the time or the energy to be sexual…not to mention, the privacy! However, with a little bit of creativity and planning, you can keep the sparks flying, kids or no kids. Here’s how:
- Your evenings are crazy.
You just got in the door and the house is a mess, the kids are fighting, and there is nothing in the fridge for dinner. Solution: Simplify your life. Spend 15 minutes cleaning up the areas that need it the most (i.e. the overflowing trash can), and then have a Sandwich night. Might not be gourmet, but all kids love grilled cheese…and you can use that time you saved on cooking and cleaning in the bedroom.
- Date night gets canceled.
You should have a weekly date night set in stone, but sometimes the best laid plans can go awry. But even if the babysitter unexpectedly cancels, don’t give up your date night. Pop in the kids’ favorite movie in the living room, while you and your partner check out more romantic fare in your bedroom. Put on that slinky nighty he loves and pop some popcorn. After all, what’s sexier than a date night spent in bed?
- You’re stressed from work.
Sometimes it’s hard to leave the office at the office. You come home and all you can think about is your upcoming presentation or the rude comment your coworker made to you. Get back in the now by exercising or meditating, or chill out with a glass of wine and hot bath. Just thirty minutes can you back in a more positive—and sexy—frame of mind.
- The kids throw a fit when you leave for date night.
Sometimes kids just don’t like it when Mommy and Daddy head out for alone time. However, not only is this alone time crucial for your marriage, but it’s also important for your children to see you exemplifying healthy relationship behaviors. Solution: Ask the babysitter to come an hour before it’s time to go. Not only will this give you some time to get glam without the kids bothering you, but it will also give them a chance to ease into this new phase. By the time you leave, they will be having so much fun playing Wii with the sitter, they won’t even notice!
- You and your partner squabble over little things.
It doesn’t really matter which way you load the dishwasher, or whether or not Junior had that extra cookie, but for some reason, stressed-out parents find it hard not to nitpick each other. It’s okay to feel the urge, but notice when it’s coming over you and take a moment to step back and breathe. Ask yourself: Will this argument matter in 10 years? Probably not—but your relationship will!
- You don’t feel sexy anymore.
It’s hard to feel sexy when you are covered in spaghetti sauce and fingerpaint and you haven’t been to the salon in four months. Luckily, sex appeal and parenthood can go hand-in-hand. You just have to carve out time every week to devote to your inner vixen, whether it means making that morning yoga class or getting a mani-pedi with your girlfriends. “Me” is a must for Moms—and Dads!
Remember, it is possible to enjoy sex as parents…you just have to put in a little time and effort. It’s all about balance!