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Why Vulnerability is So Sexy

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman talks about demisexuality. This term is used to describe someone who only feels an attraction to someone after they have built an emotional connection with them. In other words, they generally don’t feel attraction to celebrities or attractive people they see walking down the street: First, they need to get to know a person before desire develops.

In a similar vein, Dr. Berman discusses arranged marriages and whether it is possible to create a sexual connection with someone you only meet on your wedding day. What happens if the person standing at the altar isn’t physically attracted to you, or vice versa? Is there a way you can build desire and attraction if the feelings aren’t there, or if they have diminished over time? Additionally, how can you build an emotional connection when someone when you feel completely distanced from your partner?

Next, Dr. Berman talks to a woman who discusses how the lockdown has changed her dating behavior. How was love changed post-pandemic? Dr. Berman acknowledges how being in quarantine has led to us feeling awkward and a bit uncomfortable with eye contact. Moving out from behind our screens and back into the real world can feel very daunting, and lead to feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty. How can we ease back into social activities and find our groove again, after so many months of being shut up at home with Zoom as our main social contact? 

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