Yes, Men Can Have Low Sex Drive
Low libido is a reality for millions of men. However, they often have a hard time talking about this issue because society tells us that men are “always” in the mood.
There is a (false) notion that all men are sexually charged creatures who are ready to have sex any time or place, but the truth is that men can experience low libido just as women can. Whether it’s because they are tired or they had a hard day at work, it’s not uncommon for men to experience a lack of desire on occasion.
However, for some men, low desire is persistent and problematic. It prevents them from enjoying intimacy with their partners and it frustrates them as they struggle to figure out where their desire went. If this sounds familiar, you aren’t alone. And the good news is that there are several things you can do to treat the issue and reclaim your sexuality once again. Here’s how:
- First, keep track of your desire levels. When (if ever) do you feel in the mood? Do you have erotic fantasies or enjoy self-stimulation? Notice when and if you have sexual urges and take note of when you act on them, whether it’s with your partner or alone.
- Second, follow up to see if there is a pattern in your desire. For example, maybe you are really in the mood in the morning, but you are too tired and stressed to feel in the mood for sex at the end of the night. Or maybe you have strong erotic fantasies that you never end up acting on, whether it’s because you think your partner isn’t open or interested in sex, or because you feel anxious at the thought of attempting to have sex. Sometimes men who suffer from erectile dysfunction purposely try to avoid sex because the act makes them feel stressed and inadequate. All of this can add up to less sex and less sexual thoughts, all of which can impact libido. When it comes to sex: If you don’t use it, you lose it!
- Third, take inventory of your lifestyle. If you aren’t exercising or eating right, it can impact your libido. Excess weight and lack of physical activity can negatively affect your circulation, and circulation is needed for strong, healthy erections and sexual pleasure. Lack of exercise can also make you feel lethargic and impact your body image and self-esteem, all of which can do a number on your sexual desire.
- Fourth, take your medications into account. Do you take anti-depressants or medications such as anti-histamines or diabetes medication? All of these can impact desires, along with a number of other common medications.
- Get your hormones tested. You should also consider your stress levels and your age—men experience a ‘change of life’ just as women do, and it’s known as andropause. Andropause can cause plummeting levels of testosterone which can impact everything from your energy to your mood to your libido. A full hormone panel can help to determine where you stand and if shifting hormones are to blame for your low desire.
- Troubleshoot options with your doctor. There are a variety of different treatments which can help to resolve issues of low desire, and your doctor can help you determine which course is best for you. You might also consider seeing a sex therapist with your partner to help tackle this issue head-on and reignite the sparks in your sex life. Stay committed to your sexuality and be proactive during this difficult time: Remember, everyone suffers from low libido from time to time, but if you take charge and make your sex life a priority, you can reclaim your sexuality once again.