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Sex with your Ex

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Have you ever had sex with your ex?

A new study from the University of Arizona has found that sex with your ex-spouse might actually help you to heal after your divorce. The researchers surveyed over 130 people who recently split from their partners. Their findings, which were published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, found that one-fifth of the study participants had sex with their ex following the divorce.

Some of these people reported that the ex-sex actually helped to make their divorce less painful and traumatic. The researchers found that the people who reported not being “over” their ex-es were the most likely to report positive benefits following divorce sex.

So, do these findings mean that having sex with your estranged spouse is a good idea?

Probably not. There are many factors to consider when going through a divorce, especially when intimacy is on the table. If one of you is pushing for a divorce while the other person is still holding on and hoping for reconciliation, sex can further complicate that. It can make the already hurt partner feel further rejected and used, and it can also increase feelings of intimacy and bonding, making the break-up that much harder to go through.

While having sex with your ex might momentarily help to ease the trauma of the divorce (as it did for the couples in the University of Arizona study), it isn’t a long-term way to promote growth and healing. Instead, it will only make the legal, financial, and emotional side of divorce that much more complicated and painful.