How to Slow Down in the Bedroom
It’s hard for most people to imagine sex without orgasm. Most of us tend to think of sex in a very goal-oriented way, with orgasm being the finish line that everyone strives to cross.
And, with good reason: Orgasms feel wonderful and fulfilling. They bond us to our partner in both a physical and emotional sense. When we attain orgasm, our brains flood with endorphins and feel-good chemicals like oxytocin (which creates feelings of intimacy). In short, orgasms are an amazing and powerful part of sex, and they can be one of life’s simplest and greatest pleasures.
However, there is a new trend taking over bedrooms in America, but it’s one that has actually been practiced for several centuries. It is known as ‘karezza’ or ‘coitus reservatus,’ and couples have enjoyed this form of intercourse for years. Karezza is intercourse without orgasm, including everything from touch to manual to oral sex. The intimacy, sensuality and exploration of sex is enjoyed, however, orgasm itself is avoided.
There are many different benefits of karezza. First, it can help a man to better identify and control his sexual release. For many men, sexual performance is of great importance. They want to last longer and please their partner, and they want to be able to determine when they reach gratification.
However, many men also grew up rushing their sexual response, such as by hurrying through masturbation because they didn’t want to get caught or because they felt embarrassed or ashamed of what the were doing. Years later, that early conditioning might still be causing men to subconsciously rush through sex.
But, with karezza, they can be reminded to slow down, be present, and simply enjoy the pleasures of sex without having to worry about their performance and without stressing over if they are lasting ‘long enough.’ Whenever they feel close to orgasms, the couple switches it up by trying a less intense form of stimulation, thereby helping men to recognize when they near the point of return and control their response.
Women can benefit for the opposite reason. While men often worry about reaching orgasm too early, women worry about taking too long to reach orgasm. They feel guilty making their partner focus on their needs and they often have a hard time simply laying back and enjoying stimulation.
With karezza, that worry is taken off a woman’s plate because she no longer feels like she is chasing after orgasm desperately. Instead, she is simply tuned into the pleasures of sex and the joy of physical and sensual connection.
Most importantly, karezza can help couples change their focus during sex. Orgasm and physical gratification is part of sex, but it doesn’t have to be the only part, and with karezza, couples can rediscover each other in a completely new and powerful way. No wonder this beloved sex practice is becoming so popular with today’s couples!