Here’s Why There Is No Such Thing As “No-Strings-Attached” Sex

“Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.”
― Deepak Chopra

A recent study published in PLOS One found something shocking: During autopsies, researchers found that women had genetically distinct male cells in their brains. It was a hugely significant finding, as it was quite shocking that numerous different male cells were able to cross the blood/brain barrier. And more importantly, where in the world did all of these male cells come from?

There are a few different theories. One of the most popular is that the male DNA enters the woman’s body via intercourse. This possibility was discussed on YourNewsWire, “Every male you absorb spermatazoa from becomes a living part of you for life. The women autopsied in this study were elderly. Some had been carrying the living male DNA inside them for well over 50 years.”

Wow. If true, that is absolutely earth-shattering news. For years, I have been telling women that the hook-up culture could be detrimental to their minds and hearts if casual sex isn’t really their desire. “If you are looking for love, don’t expect to find it in a one-night-stand,” I would warn, but I could tell that my words would sometimes fall on deaf ears.

Why?

Because we live in a culture where male sexual pleasure tends to take precedent. It is much easier for guys to receive pleasure from a one-night-stand than a woman. For a woman to reach orgasm, she generally needs an attentive lover, a lover with whom she feels safe and open. That’s probably not going to be found from a random hookup. So, he gets to enjoy his orgasm, while she’s left feeling used and wondering why he doesn’t call the next day…not to mention, dealing with possible ramifications like needing to get Plan B, ending up with a UTI, or getting a STI (both of these things are more common in women due to our biology).

I’m all for sexual liberation and women enjoying sexual pleasure in whichever way they desire, but as this above study points out, when women have sex: We are receiving a man’s body. His energy. His DNA. His life force. We could potentially be storing and harboring his very cells in our brain for the rest of our lives.

Incredible. When you think about it that way, you realize:

1) Sex is so important. It’s not something that is naturally casual. Our society may seek to make causal sex normal and even healthy, but the reality is that a major energy exchange is occurring sex. Especially for women. We are opening up our bodies and potentially receiving another person’s DNA into our very brains…forever.

2) Consent is paramount. When we see this study, we see that sex is a sacred exchange between two people. We know that consent is already crucially important, but this study highlights that a man who takes a woman’s body without consent is doing so not just in the moment, but that he is leaving an indelible mark on her being forever. Women are warriors, and they can take and process this pain in incredible ways, but that doesn’t mean that the healing and recovery won’t take incredible amounts of time and energy. Men who rape (including via coercion, begging, guilt-tripping, taking advantage of a drunk woman, etc.) are causing pain that is so deep it buries itself into a woman’s very brain and being for all time.

3) There is no such thing as no-strings-attached sex. There are strings, even when we pretend like they don’t exist. As much as we may not want to feel anything for our partner during a one-night-stand, the reality is that our brains and bodies aren’t built that way. Women in particular may struggle to have meaningless hookups, as our bodies release oxytocin after orgasm that literally makes us feel bonded to our sex partners. These feelings of bliss and bonding can be hard to override, even for the coolest, most casual woman out there.

4) Energy is real, and it’s undeniable. This study also proves what I have been saying for years. Our connection with one another goes beyond the physical. It’s a cellular, energetic exchange that creates invisible ties that last forever. For example, one another possibility for why there is male DNA in women’s brains is that it could be stored from past pregnancies from male babies. If that is true, that is equally remarkable. It says so much about the connection between women and their babies…that the brief stay of 9 months that a baby stays in the womb can remain in a woman’s brain forever. We are truly united in so many ways, and research continues to prove the quantum reality that there is no such as thing as ‘separation.’ We are all connected, and when we engage in connective activities like parenting, love, sex, you name it, those connections grow and expand and change our brains forever.

When you realize that, you become awed. You become quiet. Observant. Mindful. You realize that every interaction you have with someone else matters. You realize how powerful you are. You slow down and get really clear about what it is that you want in this world. If you do this, and you can 100% clearly say: “What I want right now is a one-night stand,” then I encourage you with non-judgement to go enjoy yourself. But just make sure that you make those decisions mindfully. That you are a good steward of your body and your brain and your spirit. Don’t let popular culture coerce you into thinking you have to enjoy causal sex. You have the power. You decide.